


Doubts

by nyromes



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Friendship/Love, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Peaceful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 00:21:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyromes/pseuds/nyromes
Summary: A little more than a week after the revolution, Hank wakes up to find Connor still doubting the extent to which he is actually free.





	Doubts

**Author's Note:**

> My first time writing a fic in a long time, but I couldn't help it after playing through Detroit. Damnit, Connor...
> 
> Anyway, please leave kudos or a comment if you liked it (or constructive criticism if you didn't?), it'll make my day :)
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s about a week after the revolution that Hank wakes up in his bed with a start, clammy hands, and cold sweat lining his forehead. It’s 2:11 a.m., and it’s the same fucking dream that has haunted him for the past three years.

The truck, the car… The blood all over his son’s hands and face, soaking his clothes… The nurses at the hospital telling him that no human surgent is available to operate on his son.

It’s the same, except that the dream has become less frequent and his anger is no longer directed at the android that failed to save his son, but at the human that had been too damn wasted to do his job. Nothing has changed about the pain and the shock and the hate he feels toward himself every time he thinks of his son.

He sits up with a grunt and presses his palm against his temple to stave off an oncoming headache before he pushes himself up from the bed and drags himself to the door. The lights make him squint when he stumbles into the hall, towards the flickering colors in the living room and the quiet voices coming from the TV.

It’s become a habit for Connor to sit on the couch in the living room all night, watching news feeds with Sumo’s head on his lap, and while Hank can understand his newly developed interest in politics, he still hasn’t quite gotten used to having someone other than Sumo around the house. But it was Hank who told him to stay, and if the android wants to watch TV all night every night, well, Hank will deal with that.

He can hear Sumo snore when he enters the living room and his eyes catch sight of Connor sitting on the couch, for once not wearing his uniform but a simple blue t-shirt that Hank insisted on because the uniform makes him feel like they’re never off work. And while that is technically true, as Connor didn’t fail to point out, Hank prefers to keep his work out of his private life as much as he possibly can. With the small exception of Connor himself.

Hank rubs his eyes as he steps into the living room. The android looks absent, lost in thought, and Hank sighs and clears his throat to let him know of his presence. Apprehension pools in his stomach when Connor fails to react, his eyes still staring into the distance. Hank frowns and takes a few steps forward, until he can see the yellow light of the LED flickering and a small wave of relief washes over him.

He places a hand on Connor’s shoulder and the brunet snaps out of his trance like he did when they went to investigate that apartment turned bird’s nest and Connor was making a report to CyberLife. Too focused on the task at hand to follow Hank out of the elevator.

The android’s eyes look up at him as if he’d been startled, then quickly return to their usual warm brown when they meet the lieutenant’s. The LED at his temple turns back to blue.

“And I thought you guys didn’t miss anything,” Hank huffs. “You been sending another report or something?”

“No, I was- I was thinking.”

“You don’t say.”

Connor looks down at Sumo’s head, then runs his fingers through the dog’s fur. Sumo yawns in his sleep and turns his head to nestle into Connor’s touch, and Hank watches for several seconds as he waits for Connor to start talking. But for once the android stays silent and it’s easy to see that something’s different. It’s not his appearance, obviously – fucking android won’t ever look anything but perfect – but the expression on his face and the look in his eyes that give him away.

Sometimes Hank wonders if he knows how easy he is to read. Or if emotions are still too new for him to have learned how to hide them. He tries, sometimes, probably thinking that Hank doesn’t notice when he turns away and talks about something insignificant, but Hank’s a lieutenant for god’s sake, and he’s spent enough time with the guy in the past two weeks to be able to tell when something’s going on in his head.

So now, for once, Hank gets to ask the stupid personal questions and Connor will be the one who has to answer them.

He rubs a hand over his face and sits down on the coffee table, facing the android. The dog in Connor’s lap stirs in his sleep but doesn’t move one inch from his spot on the couch. Hank sighs.

“D’you wanna tell me what you were thinking about?”

Connor’s eyes remain fixed on Sumo for a couple of moments before he looks up.

“CyberLife used me,” he says eventually. “When Amanda last talked to me she said it was all part of their plan. That I had to become a deviant, so I could infiltrate Jericho and kill Markus. How can I know I’m really free if none of it was my choice?”

Hank pinches the bridge of his nose and looks down at his hands for a moment to think. It’s too fucking early in the morning. Judge him for not being quite awake yet.

“I just don’t know-” the android begins, but Hank cuts him off before he can finish his sentence.

“You didn’t kill him,” he says. “Even when you had the chance to. You didn’t finish your mission.”

Connor frowns and looks away, and Hank thinks that maybe a part of him still can’t help but feel ashamed at the reminder that he didn’t accomplish the task he was assigned.

“You decided not to kill him. You made the right choice.”

“I thought I’d escaped CyberLife's influence when I joined Jericho… But Amanda was still in my head after the revolution. So how can I be sure that it was my decision not to kill him? How can I know I’m really more than just their programming?”

“You really think I would keep you around if you were just a machine?” Hank asks.

“If the program is convincing enough to fool everyone else, it is likely convincing enough to fool you.”

“Hey!” Hank protests.

The slightest hint of a smile tugs at the corner of Connor’s lips and Hank does his best to ignore the feeling of affection it triggers.

“Don’t tell me _that_ ’s part of your program,” he says.

The smile on the android’s face falters.

“I don’t know anymore,” he admits. “I tried to self-scan to see if I could find out what parts of me are programmed, but I can’t seem to tell.”

Hank scratches his head, trying to gather his thoughts, then suddenly remembers something.

“What about the coin?”

“The tricks you told me to stop doing?”

“That’s not- That’s not what I meant,” Hank says. “That was before-” _Before he actually came to like the guy. Before he came to think of him as a friend. Before…_

He doesn’t finish the thought. “You think that’s part of your program?”

Connor frowns, the LED at his temple flashing yellow. He looks absent for a few long moments before he answers.

“I started doing it when I was tasked to investigate deviants. I felt… nervous, I think. It helped me concentrate… I don’t believe it was part of my program.”

“You know why I told you to stop?”

Connor gives him a quizzical look. “Because you’re cranky and thought me a pain in the ass?”

Hank huffs. “Because it made you human, you prick.” _Fuck it_. “It made you more of an actual person than I liked to admit.”

The android looks thoughtful when Hank meets his eyes.

“You’re more than plastic and wire… It does make you a pain in the ass sometimes, but- I don’t think that’s due to your programming as much as it’s due to your personality.”

A smile crosses Connor’s face, and Hank’s not quite sure he just imagined seeing a spark light up the android’s eyes.

“Don’t say it,” Hank warns.

“What?”

“Whatever it is you’re thinking right now.”

“That you like having me around because you like my personality?”

Hank closes his eyes, muttering under his breath. “…Pain in the ass.”

Connor grins.

“Alright,” Hank sighs and gets to his feet. “I’ve had three hours of sleep and nothing to drink, so I’m not putting up with you right now. I’m going back to bed.”

The android chuckles as Hank makes his way to the hall. The lieutenant looks back before turning around the corner.

“Don’t think too much about the big questions. They make people go mad.”

_There are enough ‘What Ifs’ that Hank asks himself for him to know what he’s talking about._

The smile on the brunet’s face is genuine when he gives him a nod. "Thanks. I will keep it in mind.”

“Alright…” Hank mutters to himself.

He watches the android turn back to the news broadcast on TV and the giant dog in his lap, and he can’t quite keep himself from smiling and shaking his head when he finally tears his eyes away and returns to his room.


End file.
